For the sake of this article, I will use European football, footballers and soccer interchangeably.
“How many timeouts do they have each half?” Don't worry, European football fans are not that dumb. Besides, this isn't the NBA where they call a timeout every 5 or 10 minutes.
“Are they better athletes than American baseball players?” Footballers rarely have an ounce of fat on them unlike baseball players. So this concept would never cross soccer fans' minds.
"Do they have a two minute warning in soccer like they have in the NFL?" No, I think this great game of soccer escapes that crack brained and archaic rule that no longer is applicable but is still followed in American football. Just another opportunity for networks broadcasting NFL football to advertise tires, beer or car insurance.
If you make a successful tackle on the pitch, will part of the defense celebrate? This isn't the NFL, where some gridiron players after a good defensive stop and act like they just won the Super Bowl. Yes, tackling is important in European football, but it's only a means to control or regain control of the ball. If you want to see a crazy celebration, watch how they celebrate in European Football after scoring a goal!
"Will the game be called differently during the last part of the game like the NBA or NFL?" FIFA referees have much more integrity and would never change the way the European football game is called.
"When's the 7th inning stretch or soccer's equivalent?" European football fans would never need a scoreboard or a reminder to stand up. In South America and especially Europe, there's a spontaneous celebration and many fans remain standing during the entire game.
"Is this game where they primarily use their feet the most popular game in the world?" Diehard and rabid footballers in Europe, South and North American would never need to ask such a question. Yes, indeed it is.
"Those players are not engaged in a physically grueling sport." Almost all European football fans will admit to the fact that American football is much more physically demanding than soccer although if you really examine professional soccer, you will see it's terribly grueling and physically challenging.
"Aren't footballers tempted to use their hands?" Not necessarily. If they've played the game all their life, they understand the rules and what parts of the body to use to be effective has been engrained into them.
"I wonder when this game will end?" The beauty of European football is, for the most part, fans understand how long the game will take. In other words, with two 45 minute halves and a 15 minute intermission, the game typically doesn't exceed 2 hours.
"Do they run more than professional baseball players?" I would reckon to say that professional footballers may run more in a game than MLB players run for the entire spring training.
"Do coaches in the English Premier League have the ability to throw the red flag if they disagree with the official's decision?" No, there will be instant replay in the English Premier League for the first time during the 2013 decision but this will only apply to goal-line decisions.
"How come FIFA officials don't feel they are bigger than the game like the NBA officials?" FIFA officials will jump out of the way to keep the flow of the game going. How the game is called is critically important and FIFA officials know there place, unlike the NBA sometimes.
"Will golf carts be used in any way on or around the pitch like they're sometimes used in MLB?" European football would never involve motorized equipment moving the athletes from one part of field to the playing surface.