Listen to the President Y’all, Play College Football This Fall

Satire (Noun): the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.


If you’ve haven’t been living under a rock these last few weeks you know that Trump and several other republican politicians are vowing for college football to be played in the fall. At this moment, both the Big Ten and Pac-12 have canceled fall football and some Washingtonians want to put the brakes on to ensure the other Power 5 conferences don’t follow suit. This article involves two groups, the Trump Supporters (TS) and Diehard Republicans (DR) on the myriad of reasons why college football should go on as scheduled. Here goes:


Let’s start with what the Trump Supporters have to say about this topic, “Why not let them play? You have so many stars of college football that want to showcase their talents in the fall and if they don’t play, this could significantly affect their draft stock. Free enterprise would not be at play here and wouldn’t be fair to those players who have worked their entire life for this chance.”

Georgia Tech Playing In Atlanta

These two groups swear their enemy is not science or this invisible killer but those “No Fun” Democrats who just want to cancel the entire college and pro football season to help wreck the economy so they win the election. They claim that many of these college presidents are liberal, perhaps there’s a wee bit chance that there’s a conspiracy happening here. You never know with those crazy liberals! Why else would college presidents of the Pac-12 and Big Ten opt-out of this college season a month before the start?


Both TS and DR quote the POTUS recently on his comments here, “It just attacks old people, especially old people with bad hearts, diabetes, or some kind of physical problem. Have you ever seen a football player bare-chested? Many of them are like chiseled gods. These football players are very young strong people, you’re not going to see those young people dying.”


Both of these camps suggest a few collegiate athletes might have long term health concerns as a result of the Coronavirus but for this season, let's downplay that and see which team is best at controlling the line of scrimmage. They vociferously say, “If Trump, who is our 45th President wants Saturday football, then why not Saturday football?”

Big Ten Football In Evanston (Northwestern University)

Many Trump Supporters are not deterred that the Big Ten opted out for this fall. They claim that the conference is more attuned to 3 yards and a cloud of dust – quite boring football and unlike the Southeastern Conference which is much more entertaining and enjoyable. Besides, these supporters claim the Big Ten doesn’t put that many players in the NFL, they may have the most academically-oriented schools, but that doesn’t count when teams meet on the gridiron -- in fact, their overall players are physically inferior to the SEC. The SEC is where it’s at, there are so many black athletes from Louisiana, Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina which means the SEC can sign the best athletes for the best conference and help prepare them for the NFL. As hard as it is to believe, some of these same Trump Supporters are so desperate for college football that they claim they will watch a Saturday night game between Kentucky and Vanderbilt or Tennessee at Ole Miss if Alabama, Auburn, Florida, Georgia and LSU are not playing.


Staying in the Big Ten and The Ohio State University, in particular, several Trump Supporters claim OSU could earn upwards of $175 Million for one season of football. Also, other Big Ten cash out well per season. The Diehard Republicans also claim some Big Ten University Presidents are afraid of liability if their school’s player gets seriously ill while playing this fall. DR suggests, that Big Ten Presidents should listen to the players and not health experts (including Dr. Fauci) and not worry about potential lawsuits. Players will be happy to play and why should the public worry about potential health dangers once the game is over. It's then on to the next collegiate gridiron battle. Trump Supporters also suggest this liability concern is simply a smokescreen, they claim that those opting out are only trying to sabotage Trump's re-election chances.


More than a few Trump Supporters say this privately, “If the pandemic worsens and all college football is canceled, what will those southern cities such as Athens, Tuscaloosa, Gainesville, and Baton Rouge, do on Saturdays in the fall? Many students attend universities with huge tradition towards college football. That’s part of the experience on campus to go to ‘The Swamp,’ ‘Death Valley,’ ‘Between the Hedges,’ and watch their teams crush their opponents on Saturday. If that’s not a reality for SEC football in September thru November, I’m afraid some of those folks with nothing to look forward to in the fall may start thinking why we’re still wrestling with the Coronavirus as a nation.”


Some Diehard Republicans approach this issue with the glass being half full and think this scenario may occur: “What happens in two months when Covid-19 numbers continue to show a significant decline in cases in the South and elsewhere? I mean, you know what the POTUS said, "It will eventually just disappear." What will those two conference presidents think about their decision in retrospect?“

Ohio Stadium, Home Of the Big Ten Champions, Ohio State Buckeyes

Trump Supporters and Diehard Republicans (along with the Stable Genius) want to achieve normalcy again so they ask why it’s Ok to bring back 40,000 kids on campus that don’t always wear a mask in public or may not exercise good judgment but their football team will not be playing even if they take every precaution necessary to stay on the field? From where we sit now, many Republican proponents view long-term CTE damage as much more formidable than Covid-19. Again, some of these supporters smell conspiracy which don't sit well with them.


One Trump Supporter diverted the conversation momentarily by telling a slightly deviant story about President Trump’s character, the POTUS spoke, “I have my campaign send millions of emails to Democrats asking them for a donation – you never know? And the funny part, I claim if they donate any amount, I will multiply that amount by 7. Little do they know I’m lying? One last kicker, I continue to spam these thousands of folks regularly, even if they’ve unsubscribed. I’ve heard some responders have unsubscribed 20 times but I keep sending them my junk. I'll continue to disparage and annoy anyone who doesn't agree with any of my decisions of policies."


To summarize, maybe the Trump Supporters and Diehard Republicans have a strong case on why we need college football right now. The right is angry with the left and the left returns the favor. Some people are angry at the police and others want to defund the police. Some people are angry at protestors. Some people are angry at ‘Do Nothing Congress’ and others are angry at the White House so maybe football needs to be played. Perhaps by playing, collegiate football in the fall will help American viewers rid some of their anger and frustration which isn't a bad thing. They feel our country needs to watch those young players grapple and scrap on the gridiron, especially in the SEC. Again America, we need more normalcy now more than ever so what do players have to lose by playing?


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