First World Problems

As someone who retired several years ago, I am grateful to have time to enjoy life and explore new things. About one week ago, I decided to enjoy Cook Park in Libertyville and the beautiful late February sunshine. As I'm enjoying seeing the sun again, I see this older man nodding in my direction. I go over and say hello; we introduce ourselves; his name is Ted, and we decide to converse briefly. During the initial part of our conversation, I sensed he was joking around with some of his sour comments. Still, as the conversation progressed, I realized he was serious and didn't attempt to display humor in our chat.

Here goes:

Ted starts by saying how wonderful the sun feels – and comments about how long winter is with so little daylight for many months.

I agree with Ted that the winter is long, but I said, "At least we didn't get a ton of snow." Ted did not respond. Maybe he loves snow, but I wouldn't ever know without a response.

He starts to complain about daylight savings time—having to change the clocks in his car and house twice yearly—which annoys him. He says, "What bothers me is that I have a new BMW i7, and I must manually switch the clock in my car. When I purchased it, I didn't realize an analog clock would inconvenience me twice a year."

I asked him if he was serious, and he shot back a look that conveyed he was not joking around. I said, "Be thankful you understand an analog clock—many younger Americans can't tell time from such a device when you're at a stop light or waiting for someone while in your car. Manually make the change and move on." I whispered in amazement that he was driving an expensive car and still found a reason to complain about changing his car's analog clock.  

While we talked about cars, Ted complained about the traffic around Libertyville. He says, "When I drive to the grocery store, I often get stopped at every traffic light. A trip that should take ten minutes typically takes fifteen."

I smile at him incredulously and say, "Is it warm in your car? Don't you have an automatic start to ensure it's warm before getting in the car? With a heated steering wheel and seats, you're never cold inside your car, even though the wind and storm may be stirring outside."

He reluctantly agrees but can't ignore the traffic and stop lights issue.

I asked him if he'd ever heard of "stop light karma," his frown suggests he hasn't. This isn't scientific, but when I'm optimistic, and in a good mood, I'm more inclined not to see the lights yellow or red when approaching a stop light. I've tested it over the years, and generally, there appears to be something to this idea.

Ted gives me a look that suggests I'm a little more than crazy.

Ted is glad he can spend part of the afternoon enjoying the sun after receiving his 60-minute massage at a local health club. He says, "It's a great way to start the day, but my regular masseuse talks so much during my weekly massage. I'm lucky I can afford this, but he talks incessantly about things that don't interest me." Ted knows he does a good job, but all the chatter prevents him from relaxing.

He's very fortunate to afford such a luxury. If he can afford about $10,000 annually, that's one of those First World Problems. From an American perspective, half of us live paycheck to paycheck, and you're complaining about him talking too much.

After I mention this, I'm hopeful that Ted appreciates what he has, but he pivots on his oral hygiene habit.

Ted says, "Because I have some dental issues, I need a specific type of toothpaste that contains ingredients to fight tartar control. Crest used to make a white brand with tartar control, but the color has changed and appears to have less tartar control. I can't get over the color change. Whenever I brush with the new Crest toothpaste, I feel a betrayal by Proctor and Gamble for changing my old toothpaste."

In my mind, he's starting to wear on my emotional health and say, "Be thankful you still have teeth to brush. Are you not able to comfortably switch to the new toothpaste without complaining? If you're so upset with the change in Crest, why not consider changing brands?"

Ted suggests he's never considered changing brands. He's used Crest for over sixty years and is not comfortable with change at this point.

You can either continue complaining, accept a Crest toothpaste similar to your old toothpaste, or consider experimenting with the other choices. Annoyed at his negative attitude, I say, "Accept things out of your control. If you can't bring back your favorite toothpaste, you need to find something that works and focus on things you can control rather than those you can't."

He shrugs his shoulders and is silent for a moment.

He might be considering some of my suggestions, but he asked me if I used the local library.

I love our local library; it's such a great resource.

Ted says, "Yes, I love our local library, but sometimes I return a book or magazine a day or two past the expiration date, and I'm charged ten or twenty cents. It's only been one day or two, and I feel like a criminal. Is the local government in Libertyville trying to earn additional revenue by nicking and diming everyone?"

I remind him that the library has many items you can check out: books, magazines, technology equipment, and audiobooks on your phone. I continue, "You can check out up to five audiobooks for several weeks, and even if you don't listen to them, you're not charged once they are returned. Be thankful your library is conveniently located. Be grateful that you can borrow many things from your local library. Be thankful there are reference librarians who can help you research or find certain things for you."

I also surprised him by mentioning that the library also lends sewing machines, science kits, laptops, and computer accessories.

Ted admits he should be more appreciative and grateful for his life, but he struggles. He feels having a companion would help, but that hasn't happened for many years.

At this point, I'm ready to leave – not because the sun doesn't feel warm for February but because he's just a stubborn older man not willing to accept his privilege and all of his blessings.

He sees I'm ready to go but wants to make another point. He mentions that his favorite wine, Cabernet Sauvignon Clos du Val, has become expensive. He blames COVID and says, "My choice of wine used to cost $40, but now it's close to $60 – even though I can afford it, paying that much is annoying. Plus, my daughter set me up with four different credit cards for financial benefits, and I don't know which one to use for this purchase or any other purchases I make around town." He thinks it's financially beneficial to have a credit card strategy but wonders if it makes sense because he doesn't regularly understand when to use which card.

I said, "Ted, it was nice chatting with you, but you may want to consider being more appreciative of your life seriously. You have health, live in a safe and secure village, and can purchase most things without worrying about affordability. To help you gain a better perspective, volunteer at a hospital in a working-class city or a food bank. That may help you realize that you should have all the blessings in your life. Take care of yourself."

I smile as I leave the park and walk toward our wonderful library. Lucky for me, I don't have any library fines to address.