Two Friends Agree on the War in Iran, Except for Every Single Detail

Satire: Irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to attack or expose human foolishness or vice. This is a piece in which two friends take entirely different perspectives on the war in Iran. Unfortunately, this is where we're at, one could say it's another example of the divided United States of America. A fictional dialogue between two friends who can't agree on any single detail on this war.

Two old friends, Bill and Frank, who hadn't seen each other in six months had just casually walked by each other in the grocery store.

“Hey Bill, how are you? It's been too long. BTW, I’m about to celebrate, will you be joining me?” asked Frank.

"What’s this all about? Tell me more," asked Bill.

Frank smiled and said, “Our president has a deal to end the war. I’m going to go out to my local liquor store and buy the most expensive champagne.”

Bill looked at Frank quizzically. “What is this deal all about?"

Frank was a little annoyed that Bill wasn’t in a celebratory mood and said, “What’s your problem? Are you angry because there's more peace in the world?”

Bill was beginning to think they were reading entirely different newspapers and the opposite TV channels.

Bill chimed in, “This is just the beginning, essentially like a cease fire with many outstanding things to negotiate. Besides, since the war began, DJT said that America would achieve “total and complete victory” and that Iran must agree to “unconditional surrender. Has this happened? If you were the opposition, how do you think you’d respond to a leader who doesn’t have a plan and creates deadlines that he doesn’t keep?”

Frank said, “Ending destruction, the killing of innocent people, and all that money spent now has ceased. If you don’t want to celebrate and be proud of what DJT has accomplished, I’m going to find others to share my champagne with!”

Bill shrugged his shoulders at perhaps missing out on the celebration, thinking is this really something to celebrate? He pointed at Frank and said, “Do you realize that at the start of the war, DJT said the one purpose of the war was regime change in Iran? Do we now have regime change there?

“Yes, there was a regime change in Iran; maybe we can negotiate a total peace settlement,” Frank said.

Bill continued, “Yes, there was a regime change, so perhaps DJT will take credit as he’s never shy about making it all about him. However, the new regime is younger and perhaps more radical. It’s not just about changing a regime for the sake of regime change. So the regime has changed, so technically, DJT achieved one of his goals by attacking Iran, unfortunately the new regime will be as difficult or more difficult to deal with. Do you think the Trump administration thoroughly thought out this as a short excursion, minor excursion, or short-term excursion? Or at least that's what he referred it as a number of times."

You could see Frank start to get annoyed and then said, “I don’t care about something too trivial. He's loose with his tongue but means to do the right thing for the American people. Besides, the war or minor excursion (you can choose your description), it only took DJT 90 days or so to negotiate an end to the war.”

At this point, Frank was generally irritated at the fact that his friend was not joining in on his jubilation. He now thought maybe the friendship was not as tight as he had thought.

Bill was not going to back down from this argument or discussion. He continued, “We spent 40 or 60 or 80 billion dollars in the war against Iran, a war that “Yahu” in Israel manipulated us to join to fight their enemy, Iran. And that’s the second time they’ve dragged America into this conflict with Iran. Let's be clear, Israel is not part of the United States. And what was the purpose starting this war?”

Frank used one of the talking points he had heard on TV, “Well, isn’t it worth it knowing that Iran will never build a nuclear weapon?”

He turned to Bill for an answer. With skepticism in his eye, Bill said, “The whole uranium enrichment program has not been settled. For the time being, there’s no more fighting, but one of the reasons DJT claimed we had to fight the war was to ensure Iran never gets a nuclear weapon. A weapon they’d use on Israel. In addition, the media is full of the claim that if Iran obtains a nuclear weapon, they'll use it on Israel. Are we sure this is framed correctly? Is this merely a "talking point?" Perhaps their key desire for getting this weapon is so they get a better geopolitical leverage. It's just a thought to chew on.”

Frank said, “We destroyed all of Iran’s ability to make such a weapon. We shouldn’t be so cynical and skeptical, DJT did what was right for America and the world.”

At this point, Bill was quite exasperated by trying to show his friend that perhaps this war didn’t go as planned.

Bill continued, “It doesn’t appear we had thoroughly thought this through. We invaded Venezuela and fixed its economic and political system in just a few days. It appears that DJT was emboldened to turn to the Middle East and take care of Iran. But without careful planning and contingencies, that’s a dangerous recipe for failure.”

Bill went further, "Recently, when DJT was attending the Group of Seven in Europe conference, he twice told reporters he didn't want to be like President Herbert Hoover. In other words, he felt he had to negotiate a peace settlement, otherwise, the American economy could crater. Said differently, DJT knew that higher prices would doom him and his party in November if inflation wasn't under control. That leads me to believe he planned little for this war, and thinking it would be just like Venezuela, taking it over in just a few days. Little planning or strategic thinking was involved."

“This was something Trump and company had to do, something the Dumocrats were too chicken to do,” Frank said.

Bill was trying to be calm and objective but didn't feel it was reciprocated and stated, “We had the peace plan that the Obama administration had spent nearly two years negotiating with Iran. Negotiations that were hard and time-consuming, but perhaps a way to deal with Iran without dropping bombs.”

“I’ve heard that was an awful peace plan, that Iran was still building a nuclear bomb. Obama didn’t have the intestinal fortitude to do what Trump did.” Frank injected.

Frank continued, “Besides, the Strait of Hormuz is now open, thanks to our fearless leader!”

Bill shook his head at the direction of this conversation and said, “Frank, the strait was opened prior to Israel and the United States attacking Iran. Yes, the strait will be opened in the near future, but it will bring us back to where we were before the war. Except now, Iran realizes how much economic and political clout they now have in controlling the strait.”

He continued, “But now, thanks to the war, Iran can charge a toll to those ships that pass through the strait.”

“It’s not a toll, but a fee,” Frank stated.

Bill eyes rolled back and forth in exasperation and stated, “I’m not going to argue semantics, Frank, the fact of the matter, Iran seems to have more leverage over this vital waterway that handles about 20% of the world’s oil and natural gas.”

According to Frank, this 2015 nuclear agreement, negotiated by President Barack Obama, was the worst deal ever. He knows this because that was what DJT told the country to think.

Because Iran could not be trusted, this Obama deal allowed Iran to build a nuclear weapon.

Bill interjected, “If the Trump administration hated Obama’s deal so much, why didn’t he renegotiate? Isn’t that what his defense secretary and secretary of state should have been doing? Perhaps DJT knew the agreement (JCPOA = The Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action) was a good deal but Trump couldn't accept Obama getting any credit. You see, DJT is a narcissist and it's all about him."

Bill poses a question to Frank, “If you sign a deal with 6 other nations involved in the negotiation, and suddenly a leader from the other side rips up a deal that took two years to complete, how would you feel towards that leader and country?”

Frank said, “They were still working on enriching uranium and trying to build that bomb, regardless of the agreement.”

Bill tried to add a little perspective by saying, “Trump came into office in 2017, about 18 months later, he claims the deal is not advantageous to America. So, he tore it up. Once that occurred, Iran had virtually no choice but to begin to enrich uranium; they saw no other alternative.”

Frank states. “Trump had to do this as this wasn’t in the best interest of America. Besides, he should receive a Nobel Peace Prize for his accomplishment.”

He continued, besides, "According to DJT, the stock market is doing well so everyone should be happy!"

Bill responded by saying, “Frank, you do realize that only half of all Americans are invested in the stock market, right? Trump needs to think about all Americans, not just those fortunate to invest in the market. In addition, what was the point of bombing Iran in July of ’25? Wasn’t that a success when DJT claimed total victory? If so, then why, eight months later, must Israel and the US try to blow up Iran completely?”

With a frustrated look on his face, Bill said, “I don’t think the DJT administration did all they could to avoid war. Why not longer-term negotiations? Was it because DJT doesn’t have the patience and commitment to do whatever is necessary before resorting to war? I know Americans carry a big stick, but war is the last resort; negotiations should take precedent. By tearing up this deal in 2018 without any negotiations, Iran resorted to behavior that might bring some concessions to them by attempting to build a nuclear weapon.”

From Bill's objective perspective, wasn’t it Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel who predicted that the Iranian regime would quickly fall? Even though Trump’s aides told him that Netanyahu’s forecast was absurd. DJT disregarded the Constitution, which requires him to get congressional approval for the war. Before Israel and the United States launched their attacks, Trump never had a contingency plan if Iran decided to close the Strait of Hormuz as a result of being attacked. When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

They both agreed to disagree on this geopolitical debate. As they walked away, Frank yelled at Bill, “DJT is not a pussy, unlike your past dumocrat presidents, and will do whatever he can to ensure Americans and the world are safe and that Iran will never get a nuclear weapon!”

Two Friends Agree on the War in Iran, Except for Every Single Detail