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What Makes America Great? Part I

Updated: Sep 17, 2019

An irreverent and snarky look at what makes America great. If I can't be funny, at least try to be interesting...

Mixing Politics and the Flag with Sports

The Governor of New York, Andrew Cuomo said this week that during his speech.

This of course caused quite a stir in the corporate and social media. This got me thinking about America and what makes it great: I've included a few examples of what makes this country of ours great.

Noise Pollution -- Those bothered by loud motorcycles, the slamming of lockers in schools or in health clubs and booming hip-hop should relax and not take noise so seriously. Hey, we're Americans and we like to make a lot of noise. It's what make America great, all that noise and passion. Anyway, cops seem to take a blind idea to many culprits of noise pollution so for those upset with the amount of noise around, realize if the police don't mind, you shouldn't either.

Electoral College -- 2 of the worst presidents in US history were elected president without achieving a majority of the popular vote. But really, that's just a minor detail. Astute Europeans think we're crazy with the Electoral College but you know, it seems to work for us and if we didn't think it was a fair and effective way of nominating a president, I'm sure our politicians would look to their conscience and abolish this archaic electoral system.

Booming Prison Population -- The fact that the US incarcerates more people than any other country on earth besides North Korea should not be alarming. Let's forget the fact that there are so many laws on the boots so law enforcement has so much discretion to pick and choose who to arrest and sometimes, the more they arrest, the more politicians can say their communities are cracking down on crime. Besides, many of those incarcerated have to do with the possession and distribution of illegal drugs so if we want our kids to be safe, we must lock them up! Besides, locking people up is big business whether it's done by the state, feds or for profit companies which means more people are employed.

MAGA Hats -- Our current POTUS appears to have come up with the Make America Great Again hats. It's a big hit among his base of about 35% of the Americans. The great thing about the US is that our POTUS profits by promoting these hats. I say, "You gotta love this country!"

Not So Great At Math Or Science -- We're a great country because even though most citizens suck and math and science, we're able to import studious students and their parents from India and China. This cleans up our mess and we're less passion about holding our kids, parents and teachers accountable because we have an informal "rent a mathematician or scientist."

Telemarketers -- We often receive unprompted and uninvited calls to one's land line offering a free estimate on life insurance or window washing. How nice of those businesses thinking of us and offering something free. It's great they're thinking of me when they leave a message which may mean I don't have to do research on a window washer once I'm in need of one.

USA, Center Of The Universe -- We're great because when US citizens say "America," they are not talking about South, Central or North America - they mean the US of A! Again, citizens of the US often think they're the center of the universe and if they don't travel or attempt to leave their "local bubble" may have no reason to believe otherwise.

Satire, of course.

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