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Honor President Trump With Mt. Trumpmore?

Updated: Apr 9, 2021

Satire (Noun): the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

I read this weekend that late last year, White House aides (on behest of our POTUS) had reached out to the South Dakota Governor, Kristi Noem about the idea of adding additional presidents to Mount Rushmore. You currently have Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Roosevelt (Teddy) that comprise Mount Rushmore which includes many of our greatest American presidents.

I don’t think it’s a bad idea to consider adding several more presidents – we haven’t added a recent president since Teddy Roosevelt who served in the early 1900s.

I don't see the issue of considering such a change – it's not as though we have any major crisis occurring in our country as of August 2020. According to Trump last week about the Coronavirus, there's not much we can do so, "It is what it is," with his cavalier attitude about this highly contagious disease that has so far killed over 165,000 Americans. If nothing can be done at the federal level to address this pandemic, one could conclude that the additional time could be used to pursue this lofty goal (in more ways than one). Also, from what I've read recently from the White House, social unrest basically means that too many Millennials have idle time on their hands so they loot and throw rocks at law enforcement. What to do if you want to be considered the ‘Law and Order President?’ You send in uninvited federal troops to some of our largest cities to handle the social unrest, which means more of the president’s calendar will be available to concentrate on this new monument. If Trump really desires this work, tweeting less often will give him more time to ensure it’s built ASAP.

On to the meat of who else would accompany President Trump on this new sculpture? Would Trump want to make a separate sculpture where he alone would reign? He often has the desire to govern as an autocrat so perhaps a separate sculpture makes sense. It’s possible that his aids and family members may try to convince him that such action would be too much narcissism even for him so the collaborative decision might be to make it a foursome -- just like when he regularly plays golf on weekends at his country clubs.

If he compromises, the next question, which other presidents would join him on this granite mountain top? I would assume those qualifiers would have served our great nation during the last 100 years and have an ‘R’ after their name. Perhaps others would include Eisenhower, Reagan, and Bush 43. Even adding these three, our POTUS would want his bust to be the largest and tallest – think about his obsession about having the largest Inauguration crowd in our nation’s history and repeatedly stating that he alone turned the economy around with historically low unemployment (although that seems like years ago).

It makes perfect sense to select IKE, Ronnie, and George Jr., all of whom served 8 years for our country. Eisenhower was a popular president, a former army general during WWII so very little debate would occur as he's a lock to appear. Republicans still glorify Saint Ronnie and claim he was responsible for ending communism in Eastern Europe so he too is a lock to be included (notwithstanding at being very effective at reading the teleprompter). George W. Bush was ill-prepared for September 11, got the country into a very unpopular war in the Middle East, crashed the economy, and has recently criticized Trump for some of his policies and norm busting but Trump also knows Americans have a very short memory (that was over 12 years ago) and many lack critical thinking so perhaps you could squeeze 43 in a smaller corner of this memorial.

You could call it Mt. Trumpmore. And because he has the biggest head (both literally and figuratively), his image engraved in granite could sit higher than the other former presidents being honored. Another advantage of such a configuration would be that his opponents and the radical left would have a much more difficult time defacing his image. Besides, who's is going to travel to South Dakota to make a political statement?

I prefer the title, Mt. Trumpnomore – the majority of the country may prefer this title instead of Mt. Trumpmore.

One more key thing to consider is where this would be located in the Black Hills of South Dakota? Because we're dealing with a person who has never met a mirror that he didn't like, it's a critical question to answer. In other words, this new monument needs to be closer to the entrance of Mt. Rushmore National Memorial so Trump’s image is the first thing visitors see when entering the park. I'm sure another peak of granite will be found. If not, he’ll convince developers that it’s not too difficult to move a mountain of granite to ensure this becomes a reality.

The park is free to visit but there’s a parking fee involved. If Trump gets his wish, the parking fee to view Mt. Trumpmore will be more expensive than the original memorial but Trump could add a video clip near the new memorial to ensure visitors that it’s because he’s done a great job as president and of course, he’s the stable genius (he may even request a cut as he’ll claim visitors are coming to see his likeness). Just like his hotels, he may be able to make money on his image and reputation. Now I know why some call him a stable genius and great businessman.

If this is built, would I be surprised if Trump would brag endlessly that this beautiful structure is a sight to behold and remind visitors that his largest imagine justifies a surcharge to visit?

President Trump, if you’re listening, have your people begin sculpting.

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